Hermione Being Bossy - for ilovedoyle - Harry/Ron - PG-13
Title : Hermione Being Bossy
For : ilovedoyle
Pairing : Harry/Ron
Prompt : Hermione sticks her nose in to bang their heads together and make them realise their feelings for each other
Words : 964
Rating : PG-13


Fine.

So most women wouldn't move heaven and earth to get their ex-boyfriend and their best friend together.

Especially when their best friend is their male best friend.

But most women probably have an ex who could actually figure out what he felt about someone, and act on it.

And a best friend who is brave enough to make a move when he fancies someone.

But what do I have?

OK, Harry is everyone's hero, but have they watched him dating?

It didn't occur to him to ask Cho out, not even when she was kissing him.

It didn't occur to him that he was allowed to ask Ginny out, not until she threw herself into his arms.

His crush on Neville just left him desperate and flustered and confused.

I would have been glad to help him sort things out, had Neville not been seeing Susan and Hannah at the time!

I wouldn't stir things up between him and Ron if it was just a crush; they are far too important to each other.

But I could see how important Ron is to him, now.

He loves him desperately.

And he would never, ever have said anything.

And there's Ron.

Don't get me started on my Ron.

I had to make the first move, at my twenty-first, and I eventually got him to admit – and while I wasn't shining a light in his eyes, I did have his balls in my hand – that he had fancied me for six years, without doing anything about it.

Anything except bitch about Viktor and get trapped between Lavender's breasts.

No.

I'm not here to criticise him.

Bless him.

I do love him dearly, but he's an idiot.

An idiot I had watched very, very closely for six years; an idiot who couldn't hide from me that he fancied someone.

He looked at Harry like he used to look at me.

A self-defeating 'well, I can't have them, so I'll look after them' look.

He would never tell Harry how he feels.

So, how did I bring them together?

A man who cannot act on his feelings and a man who cannot act until he is sure he won't be refused.

Luckily, they are very used to me being bossy.

I invited them round for dinner, last night.

I'm not a great cook, but neither of them go for fancy cooking, anyway. Lots of wholesome food, and lots of wine and they were both happily sprawled in the lounge afterwards.

"We so should do this more often," Ron said fiercely.

"We should," I said. "I miss you both."

"You've been working too hard," Harry said. "We're always available."

"She's always working too hard," Ron said mournfully. "Never even saw her when we were together."

"Well, if you'd asked me out when we were still at school, you'd have seen me every day!" I said.

He grunted.

"No way he'd have asked you at school," Harry scoffed. "He'd have waited for ever, if you hadn't told him to kiss you."

Which was my cue.

"So, Ron," I said carelessly, looking into my glass of wine. "Do I always have to tell you when to kiss people, or have you worked it out for yourself?"

His eyes barely flickered towards Harry.

"'Sno one I want to kiss," he muttered.

"But you'd kiss whoever I told you to, would you?" I asked.

"It's less trouble than getting up the courage to do it by myself, yes," he joked.

Harry laughed.

"I don't know what you're laughing about," I said sternly. "You'll moon over someone for ever, unless they decide to kiss you."

Ron laughed.

"I don't know why I have been saddled with such a pair of losers," I sighed.

"Hey," Ron complained. "I'm not a loser."

"So you'll do it?"

"Do what?" he asked, looking confused.

"What you promised," I said. "You'll kiss who I tell you to."

"When did I promise that?" he demanded.

Harry sniggered.

"Ron," I said. "Do you trust me?"

"Yeah," he said doubtfully.

"Was I right about you kissing me?"

He snorted.

"That wasn't exactly a selfless gesture on your part," he said.

"What?"

"You got to get kissed!" he explained.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, yes, as lucky a girl as that made me, it wasn't the right kiss, in the long run, was it?"

He grunted.

"So," I said. "If I tell you I have found you your soul mate, will you kiss them?"

"My soul mate?" he echoed.

"Yes," I said. "I promise."

He blinked at me. "Yeah," he said faintly. "I reckon. If that's true."

Harry was visibly wilting in his seat, and I had to put him out of his misery.

"You promise, Ron?" I pressed.

"I… promise."

I stood up and took his hand, hauling him to his feet.

"What, now?" he squeaked. "Where are we going?"

"Nowhere," I said, turning to pull Harry out of his armchair, too.

They stood, face to face, gawping at each other.

"Very funny," Harry said tightly.

"Hermione, I…" Ron trailed off.

"You promised," I said. "Trust me."

His ears flushed as he leant down and brushed his lips against Harry's.

"You're not… you can't…" Harry babbled.

"Harry," I interrupted. "What do you do when someone you're crazy about finally makes the first move and kisses you?"

"Really?" he asked me, desperately.

I tutted.

"Really?" he asked Ron, pathetically.

"Uh, yeah?" Ron said.

Harry's eyes blazed.

"Really?"

"Really."

And, once Harry knows that he is wanted, there is no stopping him.

And now they are asleep in my spare room.

Things finally fell silent at about four a.m.

I've boiled the kettle four times, and the eggs are long hard-boiled.

I'll just have to be brave and wake them for breakfast.