shocfix (![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} shocfix) wrote,@ 2005-03-07 01:00:00 |
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Sibling Stuff - for lauriegilbert - Harry/Ron - NC-17
Title : Sibling Stuff
For :lauriegilbert
Pairing : Harry/Ron
Prompt : non smut where the boys are boys. Other than that - whatever you feel like writing! :D
Words : 1208
Rating : NC-17
Warning: possibly squicky, but you’re reading NC-17 stuff anyway….
I’m sorry about this, it bunnied when I was supposed to be writing mysmutty_claus thing, so I had to give in….
The twins had wet themselves at the dignified look on Ron’s face as he purchased a Pygmy Puff.
“You should give it me for free,” Ron complained.
“’Cos you claim to be our brother?” Fred scoffed.
“Claim?” Ron spluttered, pointing to his hair. “I try my hardest to deny it, believe me.”
“So do we,” George said.
“Then why?” Fred asked.
“Why what?” Ron asked.
“Why what what?” George asked.
Ron glared at him.
“Why should we give it you for free?”
“’Cos you murdered my Puffskein,” Ron pouted.
“It’s entirely up to you,” George said.
“How?” Ron asked carefully.
“Either buy it and it’s yours and that’s it,” Fred explained. “Or we can give it to you, gratis, but then you’ll have years of us threatening to take it back, or use it for Quidditch practise.”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake,” Ron muttered, handing over the money.
****
It was sitting on his shoulder, when Harry got home, purring and delicately searching for earwax with its tongue.
“Bleah!” Harry said.
“Aw, you never had a Puffskein when you were little,” Ron said, accepting a kiss on the cheek furthest from his pet. “You haven’t lived until you’ve had one clear out your nostrils.”
“Y’know what?” Harry said. “There are just some things about the Wizarding World I will never get used to.”
“I know what you mean,” Ron said darkly.
Harry raised an eyebrow. “Such as?” he asked.
“Such as going into Hermione’s office at work and watching her breasts swinging above her desk as Percy takes her from behind.”
“None of that was Magical,” Harry said severely.
“Wouldn’t have happened if she’d stayed in the Muggle World,” Ron complained.
“And it was six months ago,” Harry pointed out.
“Doesn’t matter.”
“And why were you in Hermione’s office, anyway?”
Ron shrugged the Puffless shoulder.
“Ron?”
“What?”
“What had made you visit Hermione in her office, that afternoon?”
“Don’t remember.”
“Could it have been the fact that you wanted to use her shower? Because I’d just fucked you in the conference room, and you were feeling a bit squelchy?”
“Bleah!” Ron complained.
“Ron?”
“Yeah, but so what?” he said. “That sight will never leave me.”
“Oh, you’re impossible.”
“But you love me, anyway.”
“Someone has to,” Harry said dryly.
“And you’re gonna take me out to dinner?” Ron asked.
“Am I?”
“I spent all my money on the Puff,” Ron said. “So it’s your treat.”
Harry laughed and hauled himself up from the couch, to go and change.
****
“Does that thing have a name, yet?” Harry asked, as they sat in their favourite Indian restaurant.
Ron peered into his chicken dhansak.
“Not the curry, you idiot, your Puff.”
“Oh,” Ron shrugged. “I thought, maybe, ‘Vinegar’?”
Harry blinked at him.
“That’s the first thing that comes to mind for a purple fluff ball, is it?”
“Ginny called hers ‘Arnold’ ‘cos it’s an anagram of ‘Ronald’,” he said. “Was s’posed to annoy me. Well, ‘Vinegar’ is an anagram of ‘Ginevra’.”
Harry blinked.
“Sibling stuff,” Ron said.
Harry shrugged.
“And have you introduced it to Hedwig and Pig, yet?”
“Yes,” Ron said slowly. “Hedwig looked a bit put out, but Pig snuggled up to him, all goo-goo eyed.”
“You have very odd pets, d’you know that?” Harry asked. “Some blokes go for big scary dogs, so they look all masculine.”
“Yeah, well,” Ron shrugged and speared a lady’s finger. “I let you get me squelchy at work; I’m doomed.”
****
Ron had taken the afternoon off, and Harry had met Ginny and Hermione for a drink, after work, so the three of them Flooed into the flat to ask Ron if he wanted to go out for something to eat.
The girls sprawled on the couch, as Harry went into the kitchen for a beer.
“So, where’s my namesake?” Ginny asked, accepting her bottle.
“I don’t see how you don’t mind something being named ‘Vinegar’, after you,” Hermione complained.
“Sibling stuff,” Harry explained.
Hermione shook her head. “I don’t think I’ll ever get all your sibling stuff,” she said.
“No matter how hard Perce pounds it in to you?” Ginny asked, batting her eyelashes.
“Ginny!” Harry spluttered, choking on his beer.
Hermione blushed and Ginny laughed.
“Anyway, where is my other favourite brother? I’m starved.”
“He’s probably cuddling his Puff in the bedroom,” Harry said.
“Is that a new euphemism?” Hermione asked, raising an eyebrow.
Harry hauled her to her feet and glared at her. “No,” he said, with as much dignity as he could muster.
“You know, I just can’t stop thinking about your tattoos,” Ginny said standing up and following them down the hall.
“I don’t have tattoos,” Harry said.
“You remember,” Ginny said cheerfully. “When I told Romilda you had a dragon, and Ron had a Puff.”
“Yeah, I remember,” Harry laughed. “But I can assure you that Ron does not have a Pygmy Puff on his arse.”
He opened the bedroom door, and the three of them stood in the doorway.
Ron was gasping and lying sprawled, face-down on their bed, his legs apart, Vinegar perched on his arse, with his tongue delicately probing between Ron’s cheeks.
Hermione screamed in horror and Ginny in delight and Harry slammed the door.
“Oh my god,” Hermione murmured, her hands covering her mouth, her eyes wide. “He wasn’t…”
“Oh my god,” Ginny crowed. “He was. This is the best blackmail material I have ever had.”
Harry blinked at the door, behind which there was a scream and thud and some swearing, before Ron yanked it open, wild eyed, with a sheet wrapped round his waist.
“Oh my god,” Ginny whispered.
“Fuck off, Ginny,” Ron said, grabbing Harry by the wrist and pulling him into their bedroom, before slamming the door in the girls’ faces and Impeturbing it.
“Fuck, Harry, I’m sorry, very sorry, so very sorry,” he babbled.
Harry blinked.
“I wasn’t… I mean I was… but I didn’t mean to…”
Harry blinked.
“I fell asleep,” Ron said pathetically. “And Vinegar was on the pillow, purring happily.”
“And then you woke up?”
Ron blushed.
“Really, it wasn’t that long before you opened the door, I promise,” he whined. “I was half asleep and someone was rimming me, and, of course, at first I thought it was you…. you’re gonna kill me, aren’t you?”
“What?” Harry said. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Leave me?”
“Never,” Harry snapped. “Not even if I’d found you with Malfoy up your arse.”
Ron blinked.
“It was just… unexpected,” Harry said slowly.
“So. What you gonna do?” Ron asked tentatively.
“You are gonna have a shower,” Harry said and Ron nodded frantically. “I am gonna get rid of the girls. Oh, and, by the way, Ginny and Luna had a bit of a fling, before Luna married George.”
“What?” Ron asked, completely wrong-footed.
“Ginny thinks this,” he gestured at their bed, and the purring Puff, “is good blackmail material, to hold over you with the twins; you might like to threaten to tell George about his lovely wife and his evil sister.”
“Wow, thanks,” Ron breathed.
Harry nodded.
“And what about Vinegar?” Ron asked.
Harry looked at the cheerful furball.
“We send him, anonymously, to Terry Boot, and piss ourselves laughing when that tongue goes up his nose.”
Title : Sibling Stuff
For :
lauriegilbertPairing : Harry/Ron
Prompt : non smut where the boys are boys. Other than that - whatever you feel like writing! :D
Words : 1208
Rating : NC-17
Warning: possibly squicky, but you’re reading NC-17 stuff anyway….
I’m sorry about this, it bunnied when I was supposed to be writing my
smutty_claus thing, so I had to give in….The twins had wet themselves at the dignified look on Ron’s face as he purchased a Pygmy Puff.
“You should give it me for free,” Ron complained.
“’Cos you claim to be our brother?” Fred scoffed.
“Claim?” Ron spluttered, pointing to his hair. “I try my hardest to deny it, believe me.”
“So do we,” George said.
“Then why?” Fred asked.
“Why what?” Ron asked.
“Why what what?” George asked.
Ron glared at him.
“Why should we give it you for free?”
“’Cos you murdered my Puffskein,” Ron pouted.
“It’s entirely up to you,” George said.
“How?” Ron asked carefully.
“Either buy it and it’s yours and that’s it,” Fred explained. “Or we can give it to you, gratis, but then you’ll have years of us threatening to take it back, or use it for Quidditch practise.”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake,” Ron muttered, handing over the money.
****
It was sitting on his shoulder, when Harry got home, purring and delicately searching for earwax with its tongue.
“Bleah!” Harry said.
“Aw, you never had a Puffskein when you were little,” Ron said, accepting a kiss on the cheek furthest from his pet. “You haven’t lived until you’ve had one clear out your nostrils.”
“Y’know what?” Harry said. “There are just some things about the Wizarding World I will never get used to.”
“I know what you mean,” Ron said darkly.
Harry raised an eyebrow. “Such as?” he asked.
“Such as going into Hermione’s office at work and watching her breasts swinging above her desk as Percy takes her from behind.”
“None of that was Magical,” Harry said severely.
“Wouldn’t have happened if she’d stayed in the Muggle World,” Ron complained.
“And it was six months ago,” Harry pointed out.
“Doesn’t matter.”
“And why were you in Hermione’s office, anyway?”
Ron shrugged the Puffless shoulder.
“Ron?”
“What?”
“What had made you visit Hermione in her office, that afternoon?”
“Don’t remember.”
“Could it have been the fact that you wanted to use her shower? Because I’d just fucked you in the conference room, and you were feeling a bit squelchy?”
“Bleah!” Ron complained.
“Ron?”
“Yeah, but so what?” he said. “That sight will never leave me.”
“Oh, you’re impossible.”
“But you love me, anyway.”
“Someone has to,” Harry said dryly.
“And you’re gonna take me out to dinner?” Ron asked.
“Am I?”
“I spent all my money on the Puff,” Ron said. “So it’s your treat.”
Harry laughed and hauled himself up from the couch, to go and change.
****
“Does that thing have a name, yet?” Harry asked, as they sat in their favourite Indian restaurant.
Ron peered into his chicken dhansak.
“Not the curry, you idiot, your Puff.”
“Oh,” Ron shrugged. “I thought, maybe, ‘Vinegar’?”
Harry blinked at him.
“That’s the first thing that comes to mind for a purple fluff ball, is it?”
“Ginny called hers ‘Arnold’ ‘cos it’s an anagram of ‘Ronald’,” he said. “Was s’posed to annoy me. Well, ‘Vinegar’ is an anagram of ‘Ginevra’.”
Harry blinked.
“Sibling stuff,” Ron said.
Harry shrugged.
“And have you introduced it to Hedwig and Pig, yet?”
“Yes,” Ron said slowly. “Hedwig looked a bit put out, but Pig snuggled up to him, all goo-goo eyed.”
“You have very odd pets, d’you know that?” Harry asked. “Some blokes go for big scary dogs, so they look all masculine.”
“Yeah, well,” Ron shrugged and speared a lady’s finger. “I let you get me squelchy at work; I’m doomed.”
****
Ron had taken the afternoon off, and Harry had met Ginny and Hermione for a drink, after work, so the three of them Flooed into the flat to ask Ron if he wanted to go out for something to eat.
The girls sprawled on the couch, as Harry went into the kitchen for a beer.
“So, where’s my namesake?” Ginny asked, accepting her bottle.
“I don’t see how you don’t mind something being named ‘Vinegar’, after you,” Hermione complained.
“Sibling stuff,” Harry explained.
Hermione shook her head. “I don’t think I’ll ever get all your sibling stuff,” she said.
“No matter how hard Perce pounds it in to you?” Ginny asked, batting her eyelashes.
“Ginny!” Harry spluttered, choking on his beer.
Hermione blushed and Ginny laughed.
“Anyway, where is my other favourite brother? I’m starved.”
“He’s probably cuddling his Puff in the bedroom,” Harry said.
“Is that a new euphemism?” Hermione asked, raising an eyebrow.
Harry hauled her to her feet and glared at her. “No,” he said, with as much dignity as he could muster.
“You know, I just can’t stop thinking about your tattoos,” Ginny said standing up and following them down the hall.
“I don’t have tattoos,” Harry said.
“You remember,” Ginny said cheerfully. “When I told Romilda you had a dragon, and Ron had a Puff.”
“Yeah, I remember,” Harry laughed. “But I can assure you that Ron does not have a Pygmy Puff on his arse.”
He opened the bedroom door, and the three of them stood in the doorway.
Ron was gasping and lying sprawled, face-down on their bed, his legs apart, Vinegar perched on his arse, with his tongue delicately probing between Ron’s cheeks.
Hermione screamed in horror and Ginny in delight and Harry slammed the door.
“Oh my god,” Hermione murmured, her hands covering her mouth, her eyes wide. “He wasn’t…”
“Oh my god,” Ginny crowed. “He was. This is the best blackmail material I have ever had.”
Harry blinked at the door, behind which there was a scream and thud and some swearing, before Ron yanked it open, wild eyed, with a sheet wrapped round his waist.
“Oh my god,” Ginny whispered.
“Fuck off, Ginny,” Ron said, grabbing Harry by the wrist and pulling him into their bedroom, before slamming the door in the girls’ faces and Impeturbing it.
“Fuck, Harry, I’m sorry, very sorry, so very sorry,” he babbled.
Harry blinked.
“I wasn’t… I mean I was… but I didn’t mean to…”
Harry blinked.
“I fell asleep,” Ron said pathetically. “And Vinegar was on the pillow, purring happily.”
“And then you woke up?”
Ron blushed.
“Really, it wasn’t that long before you opened the door, I promise,” he whined. “I was half asleep and someone was rimming me, and, of course, at first I thought it was you…. you’re gonna kill me, aren’t you?”
“What?” Harry said. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Leave me?”
“Never,” Harry snapped. “Not even if I’d found you with Malfoy up your arse.”
Ron blinked.
“It was just… unexpected,” Harry said slowly.
“So. What you gonna do?” Ron asked tentatively.
“You are gonna have a shower,” Harry said and Ron nodded frantically. “I am gonna get rid of the girls. Oh, and, by the way, Ginny and Luna had a bit of a fling, before Luna married George.”
“What?” Ron asked, completely wrong-footed.
“Ginny thinks this,” he gestured at their bed, and the purring Puff, “is good blackmail material, to hold over you with the twins; you might like to threaten to tell George about his lovely wife and his evil sister.”
“Wow, thanks,” Ron breathed.
Harry nodded.
“And what about Vinegar?” Ron asked.
Harry looked at the cheerful furball.
“We send him, anonymously, to Terry Boot, and piss ourselves laughing when that tongue goes up his nose.”