I'll do anything - O/H/R - R
Title: I'll do anything
Author: shocfix
Pairing: Oliver/Harry/Ron, implied Oliver/Bill
Rating: R
Words : 250

My daughter has been rehearsing ‘Oliver!’ for months now, and I sat outside her rehearsal last night and did this…


I'll do anything
****
[OLIVER (spoken)]
So, 'ow's it go then Ron? It's all "kissin'" and "'suckin’ off"...

[RON (spoken)]
And "Don't let your testicles go dangling in the mud, my darling."

[OLIVER (spoken)]
Oh, "And I'll go last."

[RON (spoken)]
No, I'll go last.

[OLIVER (spoken)]
If you insist.

[RON (sung)]
I'll do anything
For your rear anything
For you mean everything to me.

I know that
I'll go anywhere
For your arse, anywhere --
For your arse, ev'rywhere --
I'd see.

[OLIVER]
Would you suck my quill?

[RON]
Anything!

[OLIVER]
Ev’ry drop – don’t spill?

[RON]
Anything!

[OLIVER]
Then my arse you’d fill?

[RON]
Anything!

[OLIVER]
Even fight my Bill?

[RON]
What? Fisticuffs?

I'd risk everything
For one kiss -- everything
Yes, I'd do anything...

[OLIVER]
Anything?!

[RON]
Anything for you!!

[OLIVER (spoken)]
'Ere now, Harry, you just copy
Ron and I'll help you out with the words, alright?
So it's "I'll do anything"

[HARRY (sung)]
I'll do anything

[OLIVER (spoken)]
For your rear

[HARRY (sung)]
For your rear, anything

[OLIVER (spoken)]
For you mean

[HARRY (sung)]
For you mean everything to me

[OLIVER (spoken)]
Ah, that's lovely.

[HARRY]
I know that
I'd go anywhere
For your arse, anywhere --
For your arse, everywhere
I'd see.

[OLIVER]
Would you be my bitch?

[HARRY]
Anything!

[OLIVER]
Would you catch my Snitch?

[HARRY]
Anything!

[OLIVER]
And give up Quidditch?

[HARRY]
Anything!

[OLIVER]
Make my prostate twitch?

[HARRY]
And back again!
I'd risk ev'rything
For one kiss -- everything --
Yes, I'd do anything

[OLIVER and RON]
Anything?!

[HARRY]
Anything for you!!