InsaneJournal

Daily Prophet World Exclusive - NC-17
Title: Daily Prophet World Exclusive
Author: shocolate
Pairing: mention of various het pairings, just go with the flow…
Words : 1200
Rating: NC-17

This is all maple_mahogany and mrsquizzical’s faults. Yes.


Daily Prophet World Exclusive
****
We knew the Death Eaters were waiting for us to collect Harry from his aunt’s house.

We were prepared to fight, to die, to get him to safety.

Why didn’t we realise that someone else was watching?

It was a few days after we’d arrived at the Burrow that I wandered sleepily down to breakfast, to find Ginny reading the Prophet with a deepening frown.

“Wa’s wrong…”

She saw me and jumped and folded it flat and tried to nonchalantly eat her toast.

“What’s in the paper?” I asked.

“Nothing.”

“Ginny,” I said firmly, sitting opposite her. “Give me the paper.”

“No.”

I swore and lunged at her and Hermione came into the room, behind me.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“There’s something in the…”

“There’s nothing in the paper,” Ginny snapped. “Leave it, Ron.”

“Then you won’t mind showing me, will you?”

She made a break for it, but I tackled her and grabbed the paper and held it out of her reach.

“Fine,” she said. “Don’t say I didn’t try and stop this.”

I unfolded the paper to find, as I’d half expected, a moving picture of Harry on the front page. It took a few moments, plus Hermione gasping at my elbow, for it to register what Harry was doing.

He was bending over a girl and one hand was in her hair, cradling her head as she gazed up at him, and one hand was on her breast, squeezing it gently, his eyes flying over her face, smiling broadly as his thumb brushed across her nipple, monitoring her reaction.

And her reaction was swift, and one hand grabbed his shirt and pulled him down for a greedy kiss, their open mouths clinging together, while the other slid down the front of his trousers and stroked, enthusiastically.

And it was Hermione.

He pulled back to gaze at her face, looking worried, but she bit her lip and nodded encouragingly at him and he kissed her soundly and then buried his face in her hair and clung to her as she brought him off.

And a censored banner flashed over his groin as he jerked in her hand.

I watched this play out ten times, frozen to the spot, my mind failing to find a response to this travesty.

“Ron, I didn’t,” Hermione said firmly, trying to remove the paper from my clenching fist. “It’s only the Prophet, you can’t believe we’d ever…”

I jerked it away from her, and this brought her way too close and I was looming over her in a far more threatening way than I’d intended, when Harry came into the room.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, taking in my blank face and Hermione’s flashing eyes.

The paper was crumpled against my chest, but I didn’t resist as Harry tugged it from my grasp and spread it open.

“What is this?” he asked, levelly.

“I was going to ask you that,” Ginny said, quietly, as the blood pounded in my ears.

“It’s the Prophet,” Hermione snapped. “It’s a fake, you know it’s a fake.”

“Of course I know it’s a fake,” Harry said. “I think I’d have remembered. Gin, this never happened.”

Ginny nodded and the tension went out of her shoulders.

“Ron,” Harry said seriously. “You know that this never happened.”

They all looked at me.

The Death Eaters had attacked almost immediately, and Bellatrix Lestrange had made a gleeful beeline for Tonks, and curses had criss-crossed the sky, barely missing us as our broomstick dipped and dived.

I’d clung to Tonks with one arm and fired back as well as I could, and I think I hit one of them and we lost sight of them as Tonks dodged and steered us towards safely, and suddenly we were away.

I fretted about it.

“Tonks,” I shouted in her ear, above the roaring wind. “Not enough of them followed us. We were supposed to draw them away from Harry.”

“We drew enough of them,” she shouted back. “We had to look the real thing; we couldn’t hang around and draw their fire.”

I grunted and held tight and we flew on.

Eventually, she slowed sufficiently to be heard.

“How are things going with Hermione?” she asked.

I grunted.

“What things?”

She shook her head. “I thought you were together?”

“Sort of,” I admitted.

“You seemed coupley tonight.”

“We’re… complicated,” I said. “I’m not gonna do anything to spoil things, so I'm a bit… stuck.”

Tonks laughed as we came in to land, in the lane, not far from Auntie Muriel’s gate.

“The longer you wait, the worse it’ll be when you get unstuck,” she pointed out, as we dismounted.

“Well, what am I supposed to do?” I asked.

She shrugged.

“Seriously, Tonks,” I said. “You’re a girl, and I need advice.”

“Are we talking kissing advice?” she asked, leaning the broom against the hedge.

“I’ve… kissed,” I said. “Kissing is fun, I guess, but kissing Hermione’ll be totally different. Just… hugging Hermione is driving me insane, I can’t imagine touching her… off limits areas.”

“Would it help to practise?” she asked.

“I practised on Lavender,” I pointed out. “That doesn’t help.”

“Charming,” she said. “How about this?”

And she concentrated and Hermione stood before me.

I took a step backwards.

“Well?” she asked, tilting her head in a very challenging, Hermionelike way.

“Well, what?” I asked nervously.

“You’re nervous about kissing her; why don’t you practise on me?”

“Tonks!” I squeaked.

She shrugged Hermione’s slim shoulders and Hermione’s breasts moved inside her shirt and I groaned.

“It’s in a good cause,” she said lightly. “I don’t mind teaching you.”

“But what d’you get out of it?” I asked, swallowing hard.

“I get to kiss Harry Potter,” she said wickedly and I looked down at myself.

I’d forgotten I was still Polyjuiced into Harry.

She laughed and I stepped towards her and I cupped that dear face, running my thumbs over her cheeks.

“Well?” she whispered.

“It’s… it’s actually helping,” I said. “Being allowed to look as much as I like; being allowed to touch her, without worrying I’m doing it wrong.”

Tonks took one of my hands and placed it on her breast. Hermione’s breast.

I bent over her, one hand sliding into her hair, cradling her head as she gazed up at me, the other squeezing her breast gently, circling her nipple with my thumb and watching her face closely, monitoring her reaction.

I must have been doing it right, because she grabbed my shirt and pulled me down for a kiss; ‘Hermione’ I whispered into her mouth, kissing her deeply and not realising, at first, that her free hand had slid down the front of my trousers and started stroking my cock.

“Tonks!” I gasped, pulling back to gaze down at her. “You can’t!”

“Think of it as Harry’s cock,” she whispered, biting her lip and nodding encouragingly at me.

With a groan, I bent and kissed her, before burying my face in her hair and thinking of Hermione and only Hermione as I clung to my best mate’s godfather’s best mate’s wife as she brought me off.

They all looked at me.

“Never happened,” I said firmly.