Cry Uncle - R/N
Title : Cry Uncle
Author : shocfix
For : coffee_n_cocoa
Pairing : Ron/Neville
Prompt : hidden talents
Rating : PG
Words : 437


Cry Uncle
****
Ron’s head flared green in the fireplace and he spoke without any greetings.

“Can you do babies?”

Neville blinked.

“Just because I’m gay, doesn’t mean I’m not fully functional,” he protested. “Is there some sort of baby making emergency?”

Ron snorted and the flames danced around his face.

“Not can you do making babies,” he crackled. “Can you do looking after babies.”

“I don’t see why not,” Neville said. “Can’t be worse than mandrakes, and at least their crying isn’t fatal.”

“Excellent,” Ron said. “Coming through.”

He stood and stepped out of the fire, a wailing baby under one arm.

“Make it stop crying,” he said, holding it out at arms length.

Neville rescued it and draped it over his shoulder, patting it on the back until it hiccoughed into a snuffly silence.

“Who was stupid enough to trust you with a baby?” he asked a flustered looking Ron, who was now sprawled on the couch, looking far too tempting to someone who was holding someone else’s damp baby.

“Harry,” Ron said.

“Figures,” Neville said.

“Bastard handed it to me, said something about taking Gin to St Mungo’s to pop out another one, then Disapparated.”

“It?” Neville said, swaying on the spot gently.

“What?”

“You’re really crap at babies, aren’t you?” Neville asked.

“Completely,” Ron admitted. “I never said any different, but everyone else was busy.”

“I know you don’t play with anyone else’s,” Neville said. “But Harry and Ginny’s?”

“It’ll be better when he’s old enough to play Quidditch with,” Ron said. “But he’s only just turned one.”

Neville risked sitting on the couch beside Ron, and the baby sagged sleepily into the crook of his neck.

“And he’s already a big brother,” Neville said, settling more comfortably and wondering if you were allowed to molest your boyfriend one handedly, while babysitting with the other hand.

“Occupational hazard of marrying a Weasley,” Ron said.

“Ah, so that’s why Hermione left,” Neville said, putting his hand on Ron’s thigh.

“How come you’re not crap at this?” Ron asked, moving closer and running a fingertip under the cuff of Neville’s shirtsleeve.

“I like babies,” Neville said, shrugging his babyfree shoulder.

“D’you want your own?” Ron asked.

“What are you offering?”

“Very funny,” Ron said. “Just. Don’t you regret not having them?”

“No,” Neville said. “I’m quite happy to hand them back and take you to bed.”

“Sounds good,” Ron said, grinning happily and stealing a kiss.

Neville adjusted the baby and parted his lips, sighing happily as Ron’s tongue brushed against his.

“How long was Ginny in labour, last time?” he asked.

“Eighteen hours,” Ron groaned.

“Fuck.”