Protection - D/L - NC-17
Title : Protection
Author : shocfix
For : lnalvgd
Pairing : Dean/Luna
Prompt : gurdyroots
Rating : NC-17
Words : 606


Protection
****
It had made sense when Luna explained it to him. No. No, of course it hadn’t made sense, but it hadn’t seemed quite this ridiculous.

Dean supposed it was the embarrassment of being caught like this.

‘Like this’ meaning believing one of Luna’s theories.

Seamus’s teasing would have been bad enough if Dean had mentioned wrackspurts in casual conversation, but he wouldn’t be prostrate on the sand, gasping for breath, laughing hysterically.

Dean settled back on his beach towel and concentrated on his wiggling toes. There was nothing he could do about the Plimpy until it finished.

Dean had spotted the first Plimpy when they’d all been swimming together, that morning, and he’d mentioned it at lunch and Hermione had shown an interest, asking if its legs were tied together, but Dean had thought not, and Luna had said good, because he shouldn’t swim, unprotected, with a Gulping Plimpy.

Hermione had frowned and said that there was no such thing, the knotted legs just meant mischievous merpeople were around, and Dean should be careful; Luna had said care should be taken when swimming with Gulping Plimpies, but she had just the thing, in her room.

He’d been in Luna’s room, later, having a good snog, when she had leapt off the bed, rummaged through her bag, and presented him with a large green onion.

“Um,” he’d said.

“It’s a gurdyroot,” she’d said proudly. “They're really excellent for warding off Gulping Plimpies; you’ll need to find your size.”

“Size?” he’d echoed.

Apparently – and why he’d never heard this before, he had no idea – Plimpies hate it when the merpeople tie their legs together, but, being a fish, it’s not easy to untie them. They need to be able to brace themselves against something and have a good wriggle.

Apparently – and this was obvious in drawings – Plimpies have huge mouths, and like to suck onto something, to hold themselves in place, while they have a good wriggle.

A man who innocently swam naked amongst Gulping Plimpies was in danger of having one latch onto the head of his penis and suck hard while its legs wriggled and squirmed and tried to untie themselves.

Luckily Luna knew just the right protection, should you fancy swimming naked amongst Gulping Plimpies.

Not something that would keep them away; just a little something that would allow you to feel the powerful sucking, while blocking out the bite of the sharp poisonous teeth.

She had sat cross legged on the bed and unzipped his trousers, then popped out his baffled but erect penis and carefully popped out the rings of the gurdyroot, one by one, until she found the size that was a perfect fit for the head of his cock.

“There,” she’d said happily. “Wear this if you go back in the water, won’t you, Dean?”

Well, what else could he do?

He wanted to make her happy, so he’d popped the hollowed out gurdyroot on like a motorcycle helmet and he’d gone back in the water, and a frustrated Plimpy had indeed attached itself to the head of his cock, sucking hard each time it twitched and rubbed its legs together.

And Dean had staggered out of the water and sat on his towel, staring at the creature between his thighs, gasping at the powerful suction and the writhing and the… noise that Seamus made when he found him.

He’d just have to wait until the Plimpy was untied, and had stopped Gulping, and then he would put it back in the sea, and then he would be able to show Seamus that he wasn’t being irresponsible; he’d been using protection.